There is a hole in my sidewalk

In rehab I was exposed to the most amazing quote. I came back to it daily for years. Now it sits in my journal and begs me to review it every so often.
“I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in. I am lost… I am helpless. It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But, it isn’t my fault. It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there. I still fall in. It’s a habit. My eyes are open.
I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”
― Portia Nelson, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk
The thing is we have more control over our lives than most of us like to admit. We have some influence over what happens to us, especially the situations we put ourselves in. We have full control how we react to the situations that arise in our lives. We have control over our attitude.. Victim versus Empowered Survivor comes to mind. We have control over our daily habits: how much sleep we get, food we nourish ourselves with, the amount of self-care we partake in. Yes, we really have a-lot of control and choices in our lives. It takes a great deal of humility, maturity, and responsibility to see this. Let alone admit we truly do have something to do with where we are right now. Whenever I find myself in a situation that does not serve me, my first question is “what is my part in this?” If I got myself here, I can find my way to a better outcome, only after I identify my part of the equation. How do you approach the holes in your sidewalk? How can you go about avoiding them? Shine bright my friends, you are worth it!

What Message Does Your Life Send?


The feedback I hear often about myself is, I am always observing and taking everything in. It makes me grin, because I am. I trust what I see more than what I hear. (The caveat to that is sometimes people have the best intentions and things still fall apart.) Words are fickle things. Sometimes we can not articulate exactly what we mean, sometimes fear holds us back from speaking, sometimes we know the right thing to do yet we do something else so our advice is conflicting, there are an infinite “sometimes” to insert into this sentence. However, if you really want to know the character of a person watch their choices, especially their repeated choices, this will speak volumes. Which means, if we are out to change this world, we need to start with ourselves first. What message does your life send? If you couldn’t explain your actions and they just stood alone are they in alignment with your core? What can you do today to start to align your actions and your words?
Shine bright my friends, you are worth it.
If you are ready to start your life coaching journey or would like to schedule a Reiki session with me I can be reached at