Hair is complicated. Many years ago my Dad died. It had been a terrible 18 months. I was actively acting on suicidal ideologies (one resulted in a brain injury), my Mum had crossed, hate returned to the family with vengeance in the form of a second wife and biofamily, and I was in rehab. I teetered on the brink of homelessness for 2 years. It was dark days. I desperately wanted love and acceptance, things that were glaringly absent from my life and family relationships. It was during this time I decided to grow out my pixie cut. Yes, if only I “looked” more like others then maybe… possibly.. potentially I could find acceptance. Maybe someone would find me “pretty” which in my mind equated loveable. My hair grew. The sacred work had begun. For 8 years my hair slowly crept down my back. For 8 years I healed me from the inside out, slowly becoming friends with me.

Last week I had the week from hell. It was such a clusterfuck I was dizzy with grief. I caught my reflection in a mirror and realized even though I physically looked awful: bags, pale, dull, exhausted, heartbroken… I actually really loved that person in the mirror. I didn’t need my long hair to make me loveable, I love me. So, off with my hair! And I am ecstatic about it. No more pony tails, no more wet hair hours later, no more headaches, just way less stress and hassle.
Be you. Love you. It’s important

How do you love you?

One of the most misconstrued phrases I hear is he/she/my child completes me. No, you are a whole wonderful being on your own, nobody completes you. When we have this thinking that we require somebody to make us whole that is coming from a place of need not love. Love is a selfless state of being and giving. It gives because it can, not because it expects something in return, not even love. Authentic love doesn’t keep track of it’s selfless acts or what it has or has not received in return. When we are lacking inside we form attachments and call them love in a desperate attempt to refill ourselves. The truth is, only we can heal ourselves, no one can do the work for us. We must fill ourselves up before ever contemplating what the world might give us. Only once we are full can we go truly love in it’s pure form. Are there areas in your life that you can love yourself more? How do you love you?
Shine bright my friends, you are worth it.
If you are ready to start your life coaching journey or would like to schedule a Reiki session with me I can be reached at